A History Revisited in Dreams

I find myself constantly struggling to find myself writing. Whether it's a problem with my motivation, desires, ability to choose actions, or that I have too many ideas to get into words I'm never actually actively writing! And for calling myself a writer, despite my daily routine and job, that seems to be a major problem in my world. This morning, however, I awoke writing a letter to the one person I can't seem to get out of my head these past few months. This happens to be the person who introduced me to the world of coffee and the joys of working in a community: my Ex-boyfriend. What a strange way to open one's eyes to the dawn of a new day.

A little back story:

Shortly after I met my Ex and we started dating he transitioned employment to Starbucks Coffee. He lasted there for about three years (on and off, as one does sometimes) and I watched him enjoy and despise working in the coffee world. What I believe he despised was the 'need' he saw in people's eyes and the rudeness that accompanied a wait's duration for the 'quality' beverage. My Ex was a bit of a perfectionist, though I can't say Starbucks embodies the same morality. Since Starbucks he worked a new job almost every year searching for something comparable in the modality of building community, friendships, and honoring humanity while making enough money to move us toward marriage, a house, and children. I must say I was enamored enough to follow along and pursue such ideas, though our relationship was far from ideal. After eight and a half years, we broke up officially.

By this point I had secured myself in coffee and management, though had yet to combine the skills until shortly after we broke up. It's now been eight years since I've seen or heard from my Ex. I'm working as a Barista at a beautiful local coffee shop known as Red Frog Coffee in Longmont with sights on bigger and better things.

Last night I had a dream of him. It was amenable, and potentially enjoyable, having him (and his husband) joining a group of friends at my house - though not the one in which I currently life. Without going into the details of the dream, it left me wanting him back in my life. Not nearly as close and comfortable as before, but never as distanced and quiet as we are now. As we have been for the past eight years. Without realizing it I was composing a letter in him mind, quietly resting next to my fiancé as he soaked in the last moments of sleep.

Instead of writing a letter I fear would not find its way home, I have recommitted to composing words for a fanbase I'm not sure even exists in hopes of finding answers for myself and from you, my reader. Is it right to send a letter after so long? After so much silence? A letter as a re-introduction to potential conversation? Or am I playing with the subtle ease and joy of "'Member-Berries" -- to steal an idea from South Park -- in an attempt to stroke my ego about the past?

10 Years a Barista

          I'm coming up on ten years working as a Barista in its many fashions. Starbucks introduced me to the possibilities of the coffee culture, the third space, the engagement with community and potential for some good samaritan work. After this I moved into management with other companies until I found my way to managing my own cafe in Boulder. As oftentimes happens with small companies I was forced into a realization of self-worth. I've moved on from that space and have spent the last three years searching for the atmosphere that befits my work as a Barista the best way possible. I'm happy to say I'm in that shop now.

          Several factors have made where I work now, Red Frog Coffee, an especially brilliant coffee shop. The sourcing of our beans from Conscious Coffee in Boulder starts a foundation for a level of excellence I wish to provide in whatever I send out into the world. The focus of the Red Frog is about the customers, looking to break into new products as desire arises, staying at the forefront of coffee knowledge, world events, and weather (especially), and engaging with our customers as friends, neighbors, colleagues in the world at large, and family when the time arises. Finally, in a space so close to home, I am interacting as I desire in a job. Though my time in this place is limited, I know it will be rewarding, fulfilling, and inspiring!

          This post is the emergence of that inspiration into reality (even if it is digitally). I am redesigning how I interact with this blog, The All-Encompassing Barista Chats (or ÆBC's), and will bring the level of conversation and thought into this digital landscape with you, dear reader; so if you have questions or thoughts you want me to dive into please let me know! I'm craving the experience of diving into this mode of action and thought with you and my customers.

          And as an added benefit, stop by my store and mention that you heard about me from my blog. I may just hook you up with some extremely delicious coffee!

          So for my 10 Year Anniversary of Barista-ship I'm revitalizing my blog. I hope to have you along for the conversation. 

It's Still in Conversations

Newspapers are the best way for me to get the gossip of the town. A fair majority of my customers probably don't even look at the newspaper anymore; but we do have a couple individuals (regulars at that) who read the news instead of watch television. They're the customers sitting in the store, ceramic mug left idle on the table, with their fingers massaging the leafs of the grey pages lined with opinionated jargon edited to the point of nostalgia. This is not what I consider news; nor do I consider the ramblings of media journalists who've placed themselves in the pockets of media outlets in order to procure their dream job (but this is beside the point). The most recent set of nostalgic articles has been about the legalization of marijuana in Colorado; and since I live in Colorado our newspapers LOVE dispensing the latest happenings in the ongoing struggle to secure recreational pot and figuring out a way to make it as free-flowing as alcohol, though I daresay that's still several years off.

I'm annoyed, to say the least, that the news continues to sensationalize something as innocuous as legalizing a plant... I understand the implications to society at large and the overall sensation, as well as the legal, political, and social aspects this occurrence has afforded, but when I see more important news through simple investigations of my own I get a little frazzled. For instance: Nederland just approved it's first recreational marijuana dispensary the other day. For those of you who don't know Nederland here in Colorado, it's a small town up Boulder Canyon that's known for it's hippie vibe, it's mountain man outlook on the world, and generally being a pretty relaxed place. Marijuana is no stranger to Nederland, nor are other recreational drugs that stimulate the mind in various ways. So this little factoid about Nederland approving a 'pot-shop' seemed a little less interesting. Granted, my customers typically felt the same way about this headline. This was not news to them. This was expected, foreseen, and known as an inevitability. Why then should it have been on the front page of a newspaper.

Ever since the major shift to the myriad of multi-media sources for news I had hoped print would figure a way into delivering the less known, the investigative, the deeper side of journalism; harkening to its roots in a flailing attempt to recover its integrity in the minds of the populace. Not be serial, popcorn news that blares readily and menially as visual stimuli. Good news, in my opinion, comes from random YouTube channels that I've become accustomed to; who deliver news deciphered from explicitly cited and explained evidence. We're lead to believe that the journalists are the honorable voices for the evidence and deliver such evidence in a clear voice. Now, however, the news presented in print prepares us for the simpler concerns in life. Remember: It's for this particular plant to exist on this planet again... In Colorado and Washington States...

When will print change? When will any media outlet change? ... When the masses change their viewpoint and ask for something new. That's the only way change will happen; and until that shift occurs I'll be stuck conversing over simple headlines about the community I live in. I'm glad it's an easy talking point and puts us somewhere to start off (I do appreciate that), but I dislike how simple it is. I've been learning so much about the dynamics of space, our sun, and the connections and trends we see all around us that aren't acknowledged in the news; but have such a huge impact on the way we're going to be living our lives in the near future. Unfortunately, it's all wrapped up in conspiracy because the news outlets won't put any airtime to these facts (yes, facts... observed and recorded and distributed by government funded agencies). This is where I lead conversations when I can: to the science. I live in Boulder... Science is our token money-maker.

I wonder how much of an impact I can make in my conversations with customers if I really rely on the science... That won't be very hard. It's all at my finger-tips thanks to the same multi-media that you're using to read this post. And hopefully, Marijuana won't be the main talking point for very long. I'm at work enough to really shift the concentration of ongoing conversations if I really work at it... I'll see what I can do.

Counter Conversations: The Long and The Short of It

It's hard to have a full conversation with customers when you're working as a barista, and this is probably a frequent occurrence in the service industry. A basic function of creating that atmosphere which calls to The Regulars is building conversations of depth, stretching beyond the boundaries of formality which permeate commerce. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with someone you're taking money from and providing a service, especially if you tend to focus a little too much when stressed, like I do. I'm fortunate enough to have found a space of calm in my mind to retreat to in those moments, but it still doesn't help me talk to my customers; but when I do, the real conversations are extraordinary! That's how I build my community, my friendships...

Normally, an entire interaction with one of my customers goes through several essential steps: the casual greeting and smile, the taking of the order, a quick innocuous question, and then the guest waits for their drink, usually away from the counter and on his or her cell phone, the calling out of the drink, the thank you, and it's over. This is potentially as short as three minutes, or as long as seven if there's a line. I really enjoy when those short minutes are filled to the brim. There are a few of my Regulars who start on a strong foot and drive the conversation, which is an immense relief after being so repetitive throughout my shifts. One in particular has his life so focused on the secrets of energy connections that each time he talks with me he's trying to work out the grand themes and find the path through the yet unknown. I've learned a lot from him, and have been inspired into new themes for my own creative, spiritual, and every day activities. One woman just introduced me (specifically) to her family that was in town. We ended up talking about living in Virginia and suffering through traffic in the Belt. Some customers want to throw their confusion, anger, or misunderstandings or politics into the mix, wending their thoughts through a quick rebuttal or a thoughtful analysis. Those are the trickier moments. Language and reactions can be delicate, and sometimes what seems like a harmless interjection can harvest a fire which threatens insult like the edge of a knife pressing into skin. I find it difficult to plunge into more in depth conversations, especially with an older clientele, but when it happens I glean so much more to ponder that my days feel more rewarding than simply "taking time off."

As I mentioned, my main issue in striking up conversation is breaking away from my focus. When I'm on bar, I strive to make the best quality beverage in the shortest amount of time. If there's a rush my eyesight blanks out the amount of people, the number of empty cups to fill, and basically everything but the basics of my actions. What I hear in this state are the noises of the business: the proper sound of stretching milk, the names of drinks being ordered, the words of acknowledgment of a drink that I've handed off, the beeps, and questions, and other general sounds. I'm in the zone by this point, and my mouth goes numb, my stance is fluid as I dance around flinging drinks across the hand-off plane. Now I'm teaching myself to set the drink to be made, and then look at my guests waiting for my masterpiece. This is where I'm weakest, even looking up across the bar. If I can take this first step, I can usually get a customer talking to me, but I have to get there first. That's the next skill to hone. I see this as a reoccurring problem with most baristas, and I totally understand why. That zone is comfortable! It's invigorating at times, and you feel accomplished when you can clean up and step back. But that's just the "beginner's zone." The master baristas, bar maestros at the Brewing Market, are the next level above, and you can see the experience and quality when they seamlessly make drinks and have that in depth conversation with whomever is standing before them. That's where I want to be when I'm at work! And I'm learning how to get there.

The Meeting Factor

         One of the main reasons I enjoy working at a coffee shop is the chance to truly meet new people. On an average day, I see about 350-400 people, depending on which shift I work, and I'm given, with each person, the opportunity to connect through the drink I make. Putting a line of orders aside, a drink only takes about two minutes to make a latte; and those two minutes can go by unnoticed, or as noticeably as that first chill of cold sheets on your bare skin at night. Ok, that might be a little over-dramatic; but sometimes every second of those two minutes is known. Regardless, I've learned to make those moments count: whether it be for the intensity of a rush, or the enjoyment of conversation.

         Unfortunately, sometimes even the conversation can be a burden to begin. It's hard to work off a simple answer to a simple question; granted I end up saying the same question over and over again expecting different results. Is that insanity? But I move on beyond the simple, "How's your day going?" I push for deeper questions and hope that a sentence forms without eyes staring into the digital world. When I'm not the focus of the interaction those monosyllabic words echo across the handoff plane. Those are the moments when time falters and the presence of those two minutes haunts me. It would be nice to have more engagement at the bar; and I admit, sometimes those rushes feel torturous with ten drinks lined up and a line to the door. All those eyes staring at you, waiting with tolerable impatience.

          There are those instances when a connection is made. Those moments are the times I wait for; the times I love. Just the other day I met a new neighbor. Well, new to me only because I hadn't known him previously. He's lived in my neighborhood for a while. This would normally be a highly probable moment; or even systematically necessary for a barista; but this occurrence is rather uncommon for me. I live in the foothills of Boulder; up a little canyon road into the first ridge. turn off the paved road and take a bumpy ride into a quiet neighborhood set in the nooks of the hills. We barely know our neighbors up here; beyond the rumors and mumblings of interactions long ago; but it's all amicable. The recent floods showed us that. Atop the conditions of our quiet community, I work some 13 miles away in another town (technically), where the average customer is from Lafayette or traveling into Boulder from a still further suburb; so meeting a neighbor of mine is something special.

          I find those conversations the most addicting. There's possibility written in those words, in the excitement of voices. You can truly have a connection beyond that coffee shop space. The hinting of being neighbors, or friends, bubbles beneath the surface. This customer, who introduced himself as John, ironically, dove into who I was, where I lived, what I was doing at a coffee shop... and likewise entertained my curiosity into his life. Those two minutes felt triumphantly intense; and a spark ignited in my soul. I genuinely wish to know him better, because he genuinely wished to know me. The fuel behind it was simply having a greater proximity than what was previously believed; which was merely the occasional exchange of money for goods and services. 

          Once on NPR I heard about how meeting people was an actual addiction, which helped fuel the viral impact of FaceBook, Craigslist, and then such cites and apps as Plenty of Fish, Grindr, Jack'd, and a number of social networks. What once was reserved for coffee shops and bars has transferred to our phones; hence the short notice of me, the barista making your drink. When that fuel is thrown onto the fire yearning for connection, a fundamental need engrained into our species, a magical thing happens and I'm elated. I'm infatuated with meeting people, and that's one of the most important factors of loving my job. I think that's why a lot of baristas work for coffee shops; or even why retail people choose to work in retail, knowing full well there are other jobs that they're perfectly qualified for that would secure them higher wages. We love the conversation and the variety of people we meet: The general social aspect of working in these areas.

          As much as I try, sometimes, to break out of my focused mode during a rush, I fail. And those are the times I wish I could be on a role with conversation. You know... Maybe this is the time to ask you for help; for help for all the Baristas who have trouble multitasking beyond the bar. To break away from the intensity of our job so we can remember why we're working where we're working: to feed an addiction to meet new people and be a focal point within a community. After all, coffee shops are a great place to go relax and meet up with people. So help us get out of our stolid states: create a conversation that opens us up to be present with you. In return, you'll feel present with us and you'll find a place that enriches your life; not just with coffee, caffeine, and wakefulness, but with a person you can truly talk to, freely and without inhibitions. I've kept my best friends from coffee houses because we've been uninhibited with each other. Maybe you can find new best friends for your life!

Counter Conversations: Bonding

There are few professions privileged enough to see the workings of the mind. You know: psychologists, best friends, hair dressers, bartenders, and baristas. Oftentimes I'm caught by surprise. Even in the short amount of time I see my regulars, a bond grows somehow.

Three times a week this guy comes I for dinner, a few glasses of wine, and company. His wife works out of town and he never really learned how to cook; but I think what he craves more is the sense of community and the connection with others. I've found myself listening and truly hearing what he says. Sometimes I feel out of bounds, dragged into an arena designed for people to subjectify, not partake in. I'm paid to create an atmosphere, build customer relations, and manage the staff to do the same; as well as make food and drinks. I never imagined I'd be listening to a conflicted heart, asking to talk through a problem with me. That's an honor deserved amongst friends, family, and your doctor, right? It feels that way, at least; and I'm honored for that consideration.

Shortly after I started working at this location, I had two customers sitting at my counter. They ordered food and a couple drinks and started talking to each others I would pop into their portion of the shop every once in a whole to do some work and check in; and they drew me into their conversation so easily. I soon discovered so much about their family. Their son just had his first child: a daughter. They recently moved back to Colorado to have their child. Their sun use to be a lawyer, but went to Seattle to become a graphics art design guy (or something like that). He just got a job working part-time for quite a decent pay so he could spend time at home. Meanwhile, this couple lives in Colorado Springs. This is their second marriage each; with separate kids to boot. Both retired and enjoying time. He was an astronomy professor and she was a a chef or something of that sort. Needless to say, they didn't dabble in the others affairs and that's why their marriage was good (or so they claimed).

This is one of the many reasons I love my job. I get to be a part of people's lives, if only for a minute or two; or an hour at a time. Just talking and creating that connection with others, building a community space. It's all fodder for inspiration, material for my words, which turns into the window of the world I see: which is you. Isn't that an honor?

The ÆBC's

Welcome to the ÆBC's!

The Writing Quill: Latte Art by Your's Truly

          Greetings and Welcome to 'The All-Encompassing Barista Chats,' otherwise known as your ÆBC's! As I hope you've guessed, I am a Barista. I work for Brewing Market Coffee in Boulder, Colorado where I'm slowly, but surely, perfecting my Latte Art, expanding my general understanding of the coffee bean, honing my taste for tea, and wandering down the avenues of random conversations with my guests. To be clear: this space isn't about being a barista, it's about life! I've always wanted to write about everything, not merely the inspirations that come into my head which create stories and images of otherworldly existences through words; but the daily encounters of my mind. You see, I'm also a writer. If you care to, and this is the only time I'll link these two blogs together, you can check out my work here. I am also currently a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder, studying English Literature with an emphasis on Creative Writing; though I spent four years as a double major in Astrophysics and Creative Writing, I decided my time would be better spent learning my primary passion instead of stretching myself too thin. In practice, my interests spread far and wide, which I hope to bring to you.

          Moving forward, I hope to bring you a wide variety of subjects, ranging from the mundane to the extraordinary, from coffee to comets, from discussions about basic societal structuring to complex conspiracy theories: Anything and Everything that Brews in Conversation! Your ÆBC's! So keep reading, share your thoughts, and start an all-encompassing and brilliant conversation.